Putting it into perspective – The Highland County Press

By Dr Andy and Renie Bowman

Waking up that morning, Renie heard drops outside the house. I opened the blinds on the bedroom window and saw a soggy lead gray sky. Immediate reaction? “Oh no! A horrible, gray, depressing, endless rainy day. I’m going to sink into depression. In fact, I’m already there.

Then the thought struck. You have a choice, Reeno. You may be gloomy and depressed all day from the cold and rain, or you may be reminded that the grass and flowers need and love it.


How we choose to look at a situation makes a huge difference. This determined why Renie turned on all the lights, put on some happy music, and got to work feeling grateful for the sky-sent automatic sprinkler system. Rather than sink emotionally into a dark quagmire of unhappy childhood memories of dark, lonely, icy and hazy days.

If you’re like the rest of us mere mortals, you have weaknesses, fears, and emotional struggles. And if you don’t struggle with any of these attributes, then I’d like to spend a few weeks tapping into your superhumanity. Or, more likely, having the opportunity to look each other in the eye and call you a liar in the face.

Because the point is that as human beings who live on planet Earth with all of its pains and problems, each of us has bad experiences. These days leave their mark on our psyche in the form of painfully uncomfortable memories. And when something happens to trigger those memories and the feelings that result from them, then we have to make a choice. Wallowing in negative emotions or realizing that we can deliberately choose to find positive emotions.

Difficult to do? Yes. It’s worth a try ? Absoutely.

After all, going through the real situation that created the pain was bad enough, why do you relive that pain, anger, and depression over and over again? A much better choice? To kind of find gratitude in that same memory.

Yes, I realize that many of you reading this are in great pain. And that grief and pain is not something to cover up, but to go through at your own pace. But your future peace and happiness will depend on how you deal with the memories of this depressing time.

Do yourself a huge favor.

Accept that you have hurtful memories. Deliberately acknowledge these memories – don’t refuse to admit that they exist. Realize that they have an extreme impact on your current emotions and thoughts. If possible, when pain strikes, find gratitude in that memory. And put a lot of emphasis on this gratitude to change your state of mind and your emotions. You cannot change the memories – only your perspective.

If you are not up to the point in your life to be able to do this, then please find someone who you can trust with your thoughts, and TALK. A friend, counselor, pastor, or someone on the other end of a HELP hotline.

You’re worth it.

The new “Coffeetime With Andy & Renie Podcast” can be found on coffeetimecolumn.com or your favorite podcast server or visit https://coffeetimewithandyandrenie.com/. Send your responses to: [email protected]

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